i have a dentist appt today and aside from being really excited i just found out that i have to have two staff members escort me the, literally, fifty feet down to the dentist office. one i can understand – but two. am i really that lethal?

am i the only one that finds this completely hilarious?

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yesterday was another version of hell for me.

it all started when i call an mhta a ‘bitch’ (she deserved it and i did not get into trouble for it) but soon after three of the people on my team pulled me into a room and confronted me about this week and how stressful it is with my mother arriving. i get upset because i am the one that should determine what is and isn’t difficult in my life. they wanted to know how they could be helpful and these people have never taken an interest in my life prior to this meeting which made me feel used and disrespected. i just start to cry because my emotions overwhelm me and i didn’t want to – show them my weak side – but i couldn’t help it, i was cornered.

they also said that since i am on co that i should have never been allowed to do cooking group – my favorite group. that they never expected me to be here this long (again, they want to kick me out as soon as possible instead of helping me).

i cry and cry. i feel completely misunderstood.

than in the evening i was swearing on the phone and was yelled at for doing that as well – apparently that is against co rules. the only thing i’ve been told about the phones is that they are free game… you can say/do whatever you want. so i get in trouble for that and i get yelled at and called names. i couldn’t go anywhere without pissing the staff off. i felt so frustrated. i just wanted to be alone with some loud music to journal, apparently that request was too much to ask for.